#PitchWars 2017 – Pimp My Bio

Posted byKimberly ValePosted inwritingTags:, ,

Oh boy.  I’ve done it.  I’ve officially decided to enter Pitch Wars, which then made me decide to create a blog, which then made me decide to perform the pimpage of the bio.  Breathe.  We will get through this together.

(I have no professional headshots, so here is an amazing Snapchat filtered version of myself.)

Who Am I?

I am an avid YA fiction reader in all genres, but most specifically fantasy. There’s just something about young people facing dire circumstances with brave faces. I live vicariously through them because I’m an adult that is still afraid of the dark. I see you smiling. Don’t laugh! The night is dark and full of terrors.

I’m a student, an educator, a wife and a mother of two children who don’t look like me.

My first story was a zombie book that I posted on Wattpad. The writing is absolutely atrocious. But I have decided to keep it posted for aspiring writers to see because I’ve come a long way, like galaxies long, and I’m proud of it. I hope my experience can inspire others to keep writing because practice is everything.

When I finish my middle school education degree, I want to open an elective course for students to explore creative writing as an expressive outlet.  Middle school is a rough time and I want to give kids a healthy way to express themselves and dive into an imagination they might have never thought they had.

MY BOOK

I’ll be entering my YA fantasy, A CROWN OF BONES.  It is PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN meets THE HUNGER GAMES with a diverse cast of characters, romance and kickass heroines.

Because I love aesthetics:

“Show him you’re not a damsel to be trifled with.”

Illustrations by AgataFiszer can be found on the art page.  Here is a delicious taste:

A CROWN OF BONES EQUATION

Pirates of the Caribbean + The Hunger Games + Six of Crows + Moana + girls who kick ass + girls who save themselves + romance + hot kissing scenes + an asshole named Pudge + angry land gods + sea sister goddesses + witty banter + betrayal + a pig on a leash + epic action scenes + love/hate relationship + best friends + island witchcraft + crafty metaphors

Feels Soundtrack Includes:


ME, THE MENTEE

What I offer as a mentee:

  • Never-ending gratitude
  • Fierce determination.  I am a Slytherin after all.
  • An open mind to critiques
  • Gif magic
  • Game of Thrones references

ALL THE FAVS

MOVIES

  • Armageddon.  ALWAYS. BRUCE GETS ME EVERY DAMN TIME.
  • Kill Bill 1 & 2.  The Bride is my dream level of badass.
  • Everything Marvel.
  • Sound of Music (with Julie Andrews).  That movie is everything a musical should be.

TV SHOWS

  • Game of Thrones.  Team Jon for the crown.  But I would still be happy if somehow he and D somehow split it.
  • The Walking Dead.  Richonne for life.  Carl needs to die already.
  • True Blood up to season 4.  I refuse to acknowledge the rest of the mess of that show.  YOU RUINED IT HBO.
  • My Little Pony.  After watching with my daughter, I’ve become addicted.  I’m a Pegasister and proud.
  • Stranger Things.  If I were a little boy, I would be Dustin.  He channels me.

BOOKS

  • Harry Potter, obviously.  Slytherin in the house.
  • Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo
  • All the Bright Places by Jennifer Niven
  • Beautiful Disaster by Jamie McGuire
  • The Lunar Chronicles by Marissa Mayer
  • Throne of Glass by Sarah J Maas
  • To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before by Jenny Han
  • Falling Kingdoms by Morgan Rhodes
  • An Ember in the Ashes by Sabaa Tahir

EXTRAS

  • Pinapple/Canadian bacon pizza
  • Bacon burgers
  • Maple bacon donuts (I’m noticing a theme here…)
  • Football.  Arkansas Razorbacks. Green Bay Packers.  MY BOYS BETTER KILL THIS SEASON.
  • Moana is the best Disney Princess.
  • I can bend my pointer finger all the way back.
  • I grew up with a lisp and was bullied throughout school for it.
  • Video game wise: love the Sims, Assassin’s Creed, and beating my husband’s ass at UFC.

I have done it!  I have finally created my first website and blog post.  Good luck to everyone in Pitch Wars!  Thank you to all the mentors for dedicating their time to help others and to Brenda Drake for her brilliance.

Published by Kimberly Vale

Kimberly Vale is a reader, a bit of a hopeless romantic, and started writing on Wattpad as a teen. Since then, she has accumulated millions of reads online and volunteered her time to mentorship programs and other community efforts. With a BA in Education, she teaches remediation and dyslexia intervention in public schools and lives in Arkansas with her husband, two children, and two dogs. She also enjoys playing video games, trying new recipes, and coming up with ridiculous theories about her current tv obsessions.

7 thoughts on “#PitchWars 2017 – Pimp My Bio”

  4. I love your aesthetics (I’m a sucker for them as well) and the first picture with the quote on it. Did you draw or make that or did you have someone else make it for you? It is STUNNING! I am also majorly obsessed with your book idea so it better get published asap so I can devour it! I need a good pirate book to read. I’m a fellow writer too, but I just discovered Pitch Wars today and my manuscript is not cleaned up enough to pitch this year. I think you’re brave to put your work in the hands of others and even to post what you did about it in here (I’m slowly trying to get over the fear of someone stealing my manuscript. I’m a Hufflepuff with trust issues after being burned for being too trusting before). Anyways good luck with pitch wars!!!
    Rach
    Xoxo

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